I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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