i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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