and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
