So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So many bounce houses so little time
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
