And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
