I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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