Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
