Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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