is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
