He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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