There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want to make a zoo with you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
is it fun? or sober?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
