I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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