I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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