Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
