Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
