now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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