i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
