if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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