just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
