They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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