YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sorry about my life...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
