Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I am mentally ready for anal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
