the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
