why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
