I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
