In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
