your parents love me but you hate me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize