i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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