New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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