things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Shame is for Republicans.
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