I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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