So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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