stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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