I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
