dude i'm inner monologue high
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
