Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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