I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
