she looked like the bat from fern gully.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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