what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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