Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
