You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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