I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I need moral support for this bender
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
