she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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