**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
