I need help removing her.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
