Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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