What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
