I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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