i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
