Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And then my night got REAL pukey
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
