How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
