we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
