"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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