I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
